Eugh, remember that awful cheesy I'll Make Love To You song? Boyz II Men did that, and apparently did a lot more. That's fucking scary. Read this shit:
Based on sales, Boyz II Men is the most successful R&B male vocal group of all time. They recorded five number 1 R&B successes between 1992 and 1997 and have sold more than 60 million albums.Three of its number 1 hits, "End of the Road", "I'll Make Love to You", and "One Sweet Day" (with Mariah Carey), set and exceeded records for the longest period of time a single remained scored at number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100; "One Sweet Day" still holds the record.
That's from their Wikipedia page. Frightening how successful this crap was, man.
Anyway, I heard their other "hit" with Mariah Carey (god, she was even more of a joke in the nineties than she is now) whilst watching a top 10 on Vh1. For best funeral songs! Who makes these fucking things?
The point is that they could all sing incredibly well. Any record exec with his hands down his pants could tell you that. But there's no soul to this, despite that supposedly being in the title of their freakin' genre. It's all commercially-vying warbles and cheesy production. Next plz.
Saturday was the Big Day Out time! What a momentous day - it was the one hundredth BDO and even though the lineup was a little disappointing to a lot of people, there was still plenty to enjoy throughout the day. Of particularly good fun was Mr. Dylan Mills - better known as Dizzee Rascal.
It was a set mostly consisting of hits - Dance Wiv Me, Fix Up Look Sharp, Bonkers, etc. This track took my interest, however, as it was one I hadn't previously heard. It's taken from his fourth album, Tongue N' Cheek, of which I have only heard the singles. I'm pretty interested to hear the rest of the record on the back of this one, though. As the title would suggest, the beat is a pure cruise - squealing synthesizer, clicking rhythm and an upbeat, free-spirit vibe. It's one of those beats you'd have to hear to properly "get", but as usual Dizzee kills it up top with a tight flow that never gets aggressive or over-the-top. Classy.
FINAL RATING (/10): 8
Dizzee leaves the country soon, so make sure you get along to see him!
Before we get into it, a very happy new year to anyone and everyone reading the blog and to everyone doing the 100 Days project! More power to each and every one of you, and I sincerely hope you make 2010 your year.
What a way to kick off 2010! The magnificent DJ Earworm has made his return by once again compiling the 25 most popular songs of the year (in this instance, 2009 - his third) into a magnificent mashup.
I'm not even exaggerating - this is an absolutely, unquestionably brilliant composition. How can this be? Easy: U.S.-based mashup king Earworm has tapped into euphoria by simple yet incredibly effective means.
The song's instrumental basis revolves around the catchy chord progression and beat found in Black Eyed Peas' I Gotta Feeling (which is, for those of you playing at home, G/C/Em/C), and brought it up one whole step - thus transforming it to A/D/F#m/D. For the non-musical types, this may not mean very much at all. To me, however, it's a small gem of beatmatched brilliance - in turn with the key change, the songs sampled have been tweaked to a new corresponding key (save for Kelly Clarkson's My Life Would Suck Without You and Beyonce's Halo which were already in the key of A to begin with). Everything changes. Kings of Leon's Use Somebody sounds more desperate than ever. A strange sense of world-weariness is added to the lyrics of Jay Sean's Down. Taylor Swift has her confidence boosted through the roof as she powers out lyrics from Love Story and You Belong With Me in notes soaring above their previous incarnations. Instead of sounding depressed about singing "the old me is dead and gone", Justin Timberlake now sounds as if he's been emancipated on T.I.'s Dead and Gone. Good God, even artists I normally cannot stand, such as The Fray (with You Found Me) and Jason Mraz (with I'm Yours), sound wonderful.
Herein lies another element of Blame It on the Pop's genius. No matter what change comes from the pitch-shifted samples, every single one of them is for the better. The songs sampled sound as if they are working towards a collective goal - and the way they tessellate is a wonder in itself. Just listen to the virtual duet between Beyonce and Miley Cyrus with her track The Climb. With the similar lyrics (Knowles sings "The risk that I'm taking", as Cyrus plays call-and-response with "Every chance I'm taking", etc.), the two have a momentary eclipse of pop-ballad beauty.
With 2009 a thing of the past, the pop music puzzle is complete. What Earworm has done is take the pieces apart once more, completing the same reconstructive task yet helping us notice the minute, formerly-ignored details we didn't take notice of when taking in the big picture. It also shows the mood that was set in 2009's United States of Pop, as its prequels did. 2007 was raucous and loudmouthed (Crank That Soulja Boy, Fergalicious, Umbrella). 2008 saw pop mature and engross itself in the grandiose (Viva La Vida, Bleeding Love, Apologize). So what of 2009? It was a year of uncertainty, distress and occasional incoherence. But that never got in the way of a good party. When Earworm posted the track on his page, he had this to say in relation to the composition and its bracketed title:
This year in the charts, so many of the pop songs this year seem to tell the same story: Yeah, we’ve been through a lot, but right now we’re gonna celebrate with music and dance, and it’s gonna be ok. With that spirit in mind, I invite you to…BLAME IT ON THE POP
FINAL RATING (/10): 10
Blame? Maybe later.
Right now, I just want to thank it for the good times. And while we're at it, let's thank Earworm for another stroke of genius - 25 in 1 never seemed like a better deal.
Finally, big ups to Vinyl and Vodka for helping me pick up on this. Muchos appreciated.
Here's to 2010!!
xoxoxo
David
P.S.: This is probably the most I've written about a song in the blog so far, so I apologise if it's a little long-winded, but I can't emphasise enough how great this is.
In today's WTF moment: this shit came on MTV at 2 in the morning and left myself and my little brother completely speechless. I mean, the fact MTV was playing music videos was a shocker in itself, but the VIDEO! What the hell! This kid was like twelve, dude. How the fuck do you pull chicks like that at that age - I didn't even get a girlfriend until I was at least sixteen, fuckdammit!
Then it dawned on me - I really wanted to listen to this again. I have no idea why!! Shit, I loved Hanson back in the day, that might have something to do with it. But the bigger shock came when I went to search for the video - apparently 20 million fucks worldwide had the exact same reaction as me! Damn his boyish good looks!
Let's brief - dude is a YouTube sensation, got discovered at 12, is signed to Usher's label and has like four hit singles (this included). And I'm four years older than him. Jesus titty-fucking Christ, if that doesn't make you feel inferior, I don't know what would.
The song itself is a modern-rnb pipsqueak slow jam that's insufferably cute (like how Crush on You by Aaron Carter was) and inescapably catchy. I don't want to listen to anything else, and I feel fucked in the head as a result of this. Not a good sign for my health, but this is all kind of amazing.
FINAL RATING (/10) FROM MY HEAD: 0
FINAL RATING (/10 FROM MY HEART: 100
This is terrible, and I know it's terrible, but it's so fucking good! What am I going to do?
Hi there! I'm David, a nineteen-year-old aspiring writer. I'm taking on the challenge of Josie Long's 100 Days project by listening to one song a day that I've never listened to before in my life. If you have any suggestions, feel free to email me: valkyriefasterlouder@gmail.com
Thanks for checking it all out!
