Song #31: Justin Bieber - "One Time"

In today's WTF moment: this shit came on MTV at 2 in the morning and left myself and my little brother completely speechless. I mean, the fact MTV was playing music videos was a shocker in itself, but the VIDEO! What the hell! This kid was like twelve, dude. How the fuck do you pull chicks like that at that age - I didn't even get a girlfriend until I was at least sixteen, fuckdammit!

Then it dawned on me - I really wanted to listen to this again. I have no idea why!! Shit, I loved Hanson back in the day, that might have something to do with it. But the bigger shock came when I went to search for the video - apparently 20 million fucks worldwide had the exact same reaction as me! Damn his boyish good looks!

Let's brief - dude is a YouTube sensation, got discovered at 12, is signed to Usher's label and has like four hit singles (this included). And I'm four years older than him. Jesus titty-fucking Christ, if that doesn't make you feel inferior, I don't know what would.

The song itself is a modern-rnb pipsqueak slow jam that's insufferably cute (like how Crush on You by Aaron Carter was) and inescapably catchy. I don't want to listen to anything else, and I feel fucked in the head as a result of this. Not a good sign for my health, but this is all kind of amazing.

FINAL RATING (/10) FROM MY HEAD: 0

FINAL RATING (/10 FROM MY HEART: 100

This is terrible, and I know it's terrible, but it's so fucking good! What am I going to do?

xoxoxo
D